reading stacey's latest post on blogging in general made me want to pick this up again, and i wonder if i will keep it up but either way i think it will be good for me (even though my reader count=0)

this morning as i walked home from pretty skinny blonde daniel's house there was hail flying at my face (in arizona) even though a week ago (in philadelphia) it was 76 degrees and humid

arizona without the sun feels like the underside of a rock in the forest, all grey and moist and unfamiliar and scary- suddenly the huge expanse of the sky is no longer a comforting warm presence, it's angry and powerful and epic

last night lying next to pretty skinny blonde daniel in bed, trying to work up some passion and get aroused just for courtesy's sake, i remembered why, after i get back from mexico in three weeks, i'm flying to oakland to follow a man who's 27, not 19, who is tall and broad-shouldered with more than skin on his bones.

and i leave tomorrow for navajoa, sonora, mexico, a town devoid of touristic sensibilities, and thrust myself into the life of a mexican family and fumble my way around a foreign town, using spanglish to navigate the public buses and avoiding english speakers at all costs.

i am frightened, and not really frightened at all- sensibly scared but i want/need this so much i refuse to worry.  ¶ 3:59 PM