Misc. ~a girl in my freshman seminar (basically, writing/lit) class came up to me today and asked me about the paper we have due Monday... apparently she's never written a paper before, ever, in her life, because she was homeschooled. that's crazy. i was having trouble finding advice to give her, i can't even remember how i started to learn how to write papers.

~the stage manager i'm working under (i'm the assistant) tells me she's giving me a lot more responsibility that most ASMs would get because (ssshhh) they're grooming me to take over my own shows. yes! that means my job title (SM) has the same intitials as sado-masochist whee!!

~i felt like a big steaming pile of crap last night so i went to bed really early and got twelve hours of sleep and now it's a beautiful fall day and i feel so goddamn good.

~tonight is the BIG GAY DANCE VIII: The Big Gay Revolution! excitement! apparently the big gay dances at this school are the only dances anyone ever goes to... that's one of the reasons i love this place. we're all gonna get trashed and dressed up and go dance like the big gay people we all are.  ¶ 11:23 AM 0 comments

  Getting back into the theater life is crazy. It's such a nutso world. Like, take all the neurotic and crazy and opinionated people and make them all work together.... ahhh!!!
I hope I'm going to be able to keep up with it. So far things are going fine but once we get back from break we have like two weeks where EVERYTHING has to be done, and its going to be mostly tech, which I've done barely any of before and need to learn on the job as best as possible without fucking things up.
aeaeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiuuuuururrraaggghhhh!!!!  ¶ 11:50 AM 0 comments

  I need to start, really really really soon, becoming ridiculously organized. And fast.
Not only is my entire job description to organize the whole show and make it go smoothly, but that means that I have to organize my life around the show (because my soul belongs to the show until the first week in November) and still keep up with my schoolwork, etc.
I think I can do it, but it's going to take some getting used to. I haven't had to be really really organized since the last time I worked at a theater.
The funny thing is, no one else who ever works at a theater is organized at all, except other stage managers, and usually the technical director (well, moreso than the creative directors).
I'm having a really good time though.
I love contributing to something worthwhile.
Not to mention that the show, a movement theater piece (which basically means a bunch of actors moving around the stage in ways that make their body look cool with everyone else's body) cobbled together/cut out from this nutsy long-ass play about crazy papal politics and demons and evil plots and stuff. It's fucking wonderful. But, organic blocking, so it's a mess to stage manage.  ¶ 4:47 AM 0 comments

  me me with short hair

me with blue hair  ¶ 11:25 AM 1 comments

  aahhhh astrology oh nooooo!! I've become quite addicted to the astrology portraits at astro.com.
Here's the link to mine: ME!
(make sure you enable popups for that site and you can read all about me
Many of the things are disturbingly accurate. There are a few bits which are wrong, but then other bits contradict and correct those bits.
Which basically I take to mean that there were several ways I could have gone in developing my personality and the ones I identify with are the ones I happened to choose. (That is, if you believe in this bullshit....)
But the rest.... freakishly correct. And the same goes for my friends' profiles and so forth.
Read yours. go here and put in your info, and learn about yourself.
It's addicting, and fascinating.
And then you can add your friends info and read about them, and put in your S.O. and check out what they say about your relationship by clicked "Astro Partner".
So much fun.
Such a good way to distract oneself from actual work.  ¶ 12:04 AM 0 comments

  started this neurofeedback thing today.
it was pretty cool.
go read about it.  ¶ 5:30 PM 0 comments

  the randomest day as soon as i told my friend dan i was gonna sign off and take a nap this morning, my friends walked in the door and made me start watching pulp fiction
half way through we needed a cigarette
we got outside and sam and adam coerced us into going offroading in baertown nat'l forest
then we decided on milkshakes and yarnbuying in town
no yarn stores were open, but tahlia got caught stealing a bag from crystal essence, a little new age shop in town
then tea, and dinner,
and then a random hip hop dance party (on a campus that is decidedly anti-hip-hop)
and now we're listening to bela fleck and the flecktowns and knitting and making jewelry
......fucking' random, dude  ¶ 3:43 PM 0 comments

  its sunday and i can feel the fall in the air. it's finally turning seriously fall-like, bit by bit. i can't wait until the leaves start turning brilliant colors.

i feel like i lost my touch in the whole seduction game. sex/love life is basically nonexistent. i don't like it.
i wonder what changed?  ¶ 9:51 AM 0 comments

  i thought i had a ride down to the war protest in d.c. but that fell through. =(
this makes me sad.  ¶ 7:32 AM 0 comments

  feeling lonely.... ...
...
...
that's it. i just thought i'd stop by to whine for a bit.  ¶ 6:29 PM 0 comments

  i thought i was over him
but then i saw him again this weekend
and i'm ridiculously obsessed with him again
i don't know what to do
i can't get him out of my head
i think its because that first night, when we clicked so hard
i was tripping
and that hardwired him into my brain
ahhh
i want him so bad
i don't know if i'll be able to get him (again)
i don't know if it's worth it
this is ridiculous-
even after he cut his hair (ew) and is tired and burnt out and hungover,
i'm attracted to him
aaaaahhhhh  ¶ 6:57 PM 0 comments

  so apparently my parents found this blog as well...
DAMN
i DON'T want them reading this shit
but it's not worth it, jumping around from blog to blog
i don't know what to do
at all
.....
gaahhh
arrgggh
eeeeiiiiagoodga  ¶ 11:39 PM 0 comments

  so yeah... my hair is bright, sonic-the-hedgehog blue...
  ¶ 6:39 AM 1 comments

  ah, the joys of strep throat... not that there are any
but i do get to miss class
which means that i'll have to work twice as hard this weekend/next week to make up the work, because damned if i'm doing any homework while i'm fucking sick.
but we did just get the room cleaned up a bit. my roommate kinda panicked when i mentioned i wanted to move out into a single and started being really helpful, which makes me feel guilty... but its not like she's always helpful. ugh. or even livable. i don't know what to do. this has been bothering me for a while.
i did find out that even though i was smoking around five (give or take a few) cigarettes a day since i got here a month ago, i'm not addicted yet. it's a miracle, but when i got sick monday i completely cut them out and didn't feel a thing. maybe i'm just magical.
i think i must have gotten strep from that hot guy at the rave, because no one else here has it. a hippiedeathplague is going around (so named because it's passed by sharing bowls and joints and cigs) but i didn't catch that, too, thankfully.
i'll try to update with some good news next time.  ¶ 10:59 AM 0 comments

  i just went through a round of the flu that was NOT fucking fun... ugh... i hate being sick. i was prone for like, thirty hours...
what happened to my good immune system?!?!
AND i got no work done...
shame shame shame on me  ¶ 4:51 AM 0 comments

  so tired and i have a paper to write
i think i'll get up early in the morning
i'm aching at the lack of physical contact here
i need a cuddle buddy
it hurts
... lonely ...  ¶ 9:25 PM 0 comments

  TWELVE HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT
yeah baby  ¶ 6:29 AM 0 comments

  If I can find a scanner on campus, you're going to get some amazing pictures. Last night my next-door hall neighbor pierced her roommate's and my nipples (we went to the piercing salon to get supplies first, and it was three times cheaper than it would have been if they did it). I didn't scream or chicken out, but I did make faces and I feel like a fucking pussy compared to Claire, the other girl who had hers done. Nirvana (the piercer) had to go through Claire's left nipple three times before she got it straight (it kept veering into the aereola (sp?)) and Claire didn't even fucking flinch. I swear, not only is that girl fucking sexy, she has more balls than the rest of campus put together.
So this relates to pictures because today my friend Carolyn, who is a drop-dead gorgeous natural blonde (I am so jealous of her) photography student took nude (well, I had underwear on) pictures of me on the love torpedo (a tank thingy shaped like a tampon but we like to call it a torpedo, that has, in big black letters, "LOVE" written on it with spray paint) with my newly pierced nipples and (of course) my new haircut. She also has some good ones of me at Bash Bish Falls (a stunningly gorgeous waterfall about forty minutes away) but that was before I cut my hair.
(it seems like EVERYWHERE around here is fucking beautiful. it's so intense. this campus, this area, is the best place to trip just as long as you stay outside, and preferrably in the woods)
Anyway, I'm going to try to scan in some of her prints somewhere on campus and post them here... I'm really excited for them.  ¶ 8:46 AM 0 comments

  college = cheap liquid entertainment
college at SR = cheap liquid entertainment + campfire several hundred yards into the woods  ¶ 9:52 AM 0 comments

  I am wearing sex on my chest today. If I had a camera handy, I'd show you the shirt (and my new haircut). This is my kama sutra shirt from P-town. Godly, it is.
The weather is beautiful here. Fall is coming, I can feel it, I'm ready for the foliage, I'm fucking sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the leaves to turn. You should see this campus. So perfect, it's unbelievable. Swarthmore's campus might be a little better, but not by much. And Swarthmore isn't in the mountains.
I've kind of relaxed about that boy I was pining for. Not that I don't still find him unbelievably sexy, but it doesn't matter as much to me. Part of that is because I've reached a more secure level of peace with myself, and part of it is that I had sex with a beautiful black bitch/baby/broad/babe (whichever B word you want to use for a sexy chick) the other night so I'm not as distracted by the need any more.
I was talking to Will on the veranda last night. He's an autist. According to Elena, who knew him last year, he's made a lot of progress on that whole human-interaction thing since she first met him. He actually comes off as a pretty normal guy- well, normal for this place, which isn't quite the same thing as normal for the world at large. The topic of sex came up, as it always does when you're in a conversation with drunk males. Will's philosophy is that sex is not, and will never be (unless he's wasted) worth the effort. Keep in mind that Will is a sexy motherfucker and is pretty regularly offered sex- it's not like he has to work to get it. He says that he's a coward, and fucking terrified of the moment in bed once it's over. Despite all that, and the fact that he's autistic, I have to believe that he wouldn't feel the same way if he had ever had sex of any kind. It's still an interesting philosophy on human interaction, though. It's not like he hates people- he finds them highly amusing and would be quite sad if everyone else stopped existing- but I think he needs to learn to understand each individual as a whole person; an entity which includes a body. I kind of want to have sex with him now. Hahahahahaha.
I wonder what it would be like to be autistic. I wonder if I would like it. I wonder if it'd be worth it.  ¶ 8:41 AM 0 comments

  GOD i feel so much better after sex last night... my body was SO in need.  ¶ 5:22 PM 0 comments

  emptiness disconcertingly hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. i'm feeling lonely, in the mood where i don't want to make the effort to socialize, just cuddle- not a mood conducive to inspiring people to be around me.
vicious cycle, vicious cycle, vicious cycle.
roommate is flirting with cameron, the good twin, behind me on her bed. i want to crash. thinking of going outside to stargaze. but its so cold.  ¶ 9:13 PM 0 comments

  tester tester
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sagjsghsfbfdh  ¶ 9:12 PM 0 comments