it's cold and rainy, out here in the desert
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
now all i'm left with is guilt at stringing marcus along and then hurting him-
things have been taken care of and all is good
except the fact that redneck/stoner/drunk/tweaker Zach fired a gun on my block last night because some guy made him spill his beer at the bar.
Three Things I'm Lamenting Right Now (Because Lamenting is a Cool Word):
*War, conflict, etc.- Michael Franti's film I am not alone was screened at my school tonight- hard-hitting documentary about conflict in the middle east, music, and people being people.
*Adam- because despite the age difference, he is still a wonderful person, and was wonderful in bed, and I can't have him any more (whine)
*Return to Aderall- workload is picking up and next door neighbor has a prescription ¶ 10:57 PM 0 comments
things have been taken care of and all is good
except the fact that redneck/stoner/drunk/tweaker Zach fired a gun on my block last night because some guy made him spill his beer at the bar.
Three Things I'm Lamenting Right Now (Because Lamenting is a Cool Word):
*War, conflict, etc.- Michael Franti's film I am not alone was screened at my school tonight- hard-hitting documentary about conflict in the middle east, music, and people being people.
*Adam- because despite the age difference, he is still a wonderful person, and was wonderful in bed, and I can't have him any more (whine)
*Return to Aderall- workload is picking up and next door neighbor has a prescription ¶ 10:57 PM 0 comments
Saturday, November 04, 2006
reality check
for the past week i've been sick in bed
they tested me for strep (twice) and for mono- both came back neg
most likely answer at this point:
i licked this disease off of marcus' dick.
i don't even know what to say to myself at this point.
getting tested on monday at planned parenthood, already on antibiotics.
i don't know what i got myself into.
marcus and i are officially together at this point but i don't know if i can keep it up- i think i only got into this to prove that i can maintain a relationship but i don't think i can maintain this one...
he's fun to be around, when he isn't pissed off/impatient that we're not having sex because i feel like death- in which case he gets uber passive agressive
we're also on completely different paths in life.
...
...
...
guess its up to me to take some action. wooh boy. ¶ 7:37 AM 0 comments
they tested me for strep (twice) and for mono- both came back neg
most likely answer at this point:
i licked this disease off of marcus' dick.
i don't even know what to say to myself at this point.
getting tested on monday at planned parenthood, already on antibiotics.
i don't know what i got myself into.
marcus and i are officially together at this point but i don't know if i can keep it up- i think i only got into this to prove that i can maintain a relationship but i don't think i can maintain this one...
he's fun to be around, when he isn't pissed off/impatient that we're not having sex because i feel like death- in which case he gets uber passive agressive
we're also on completely different paths in life.
...
...
...
guess its up to me to take some action. wooh boy. ¶ 7:37 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
fuck my crappy immune system
i think i have strep throat again.
i slept till 3:30 today, and yesterday i took several four hour naps.
it feels like there are king-sized marbles in the back of my throat and someone is stealthily and slowly filling my skull with helium.
on top of this, i just started a relationship with markus, one of my neighbors. so i feel even shittier because i feel so shitty that i don't want to have lots of sex with him right now even though a week and a half ago he got out of jail after being in there for a year and really could use it. ¶ 5:31 PM 0 comments
i slept till 3:30 today, and yesterday i took several four hour naps.
it feels like there are king-sized marbles in the back of my throat and someone is stealthily and slowly filling my skull with helium.
on top of this, i just started a relationship with markus, one of my neighbors. so i feel even shittier because i feel so shitty that i don't want to have lots of sex with him right now even though a week and a half ago he got out of jail after being in there for a year and really could use it. ¶ 5:31 PM 0 comments
